"Most people you meet are asleep, and the ones that are awake live in a state of constant, total amazement" -Joe versus the Volcano
It’s a Saturday night and I’ve got the late shift in the ER. Weekends always bring interesting patients to the mix.
Those of you who aren’t in the medical business would be surprised at the number of people we see who actually don’t want to live. Everyday (and I mean everyday) we see at least one patient and usually more with the complaint of “depressed, wants to commit suicide”. For everyone one of these we see five more with “waste basket diagnoses”, examples of these are: chronic fatigue syndrome, myofascial pain syndrome, hypoglycemia, mitral valve prolapse, there are many more. These patients take many medicines, herbs, therapies and the like. Their doctor doesn’t know what to do with them but feels obligated to come up with a diagnosis so they get one of these labels. They are sick, they have “poor health”.
Back to Saturday, I’m working with 10 patients and 3 have intentionally overdosed and one is thinking about cutting her wrist. Not a good mix.
My suicidal group ranges in age from 20 to 60. None of them want to live.
On the other hand my partner has a patient. Her patient is 37 years old and has terminal lung cancer. Diagnosed originally two years ago, he has undergone numerous operations, chemotherapy and had little success. His tumor is adenocarinoma of the lung (not necessarily caused by smoking) and is very aggressive. He is down to 90 pounds, has a feeding tube and bed sores. He is dying and there is nothing more we can do. He has come to the hospital tonight because he has fired his Hospice nurse and has thrown out his home health team. He is angry with his parents, doctors and family. He is not ready to die. He wants to live. “I’m just not ready”.
It was a surreal moment. I am surrounded by relatively healthy people who want to die and looking at a very sick guy who desperately wants to live. Life is unfair.
It makes me think of one of my favorite movies, Joe verses the Volcano. Basically it’s about a guy in a dead end job, living a dead end life. He finds out he has a terminal illness (brain cloud) and only has a few months to live. So for the first time ever he chooses to live. The movie has moments of great dialogue and symbolism. It has a silly ending but the message is wonderful. I highly recommend you watch it.
The best part is that it’s message is true. So few people actually live life. I have met many people in my 39 years and I have learned this: money won’t make you happy, power won’t do it either. I think it comes down to doing a job you love, having real friends, and not taking the rest so seriously. I think it’s about trying new things without a fear of embarrassment. Most importantly don’t waste a day, you’ve only got a few.
Now “Take me to the Volcano!”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGLKnAvzlg4&feature=related
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4 comments:
Seriously Dr. G, these rock!!! I think you missed your calling and should be a writer. Too bad you are also one hell of a doctor. I miss you!
Wow! This blog is so true! You have to LIVE your life...really live it! This story is sad but needed to be told!
Excellent blog. I've personally known 4 people this year to take their own life. I still dont understand it. I replay our last conversations over and over - I try to figure out what went wrong. I've also lost 4 family members this year who desperately wanted to live. It's unbelievable the irony of those deaths. Some would fight to the end to live, while others think that it would be better just to turn off the light.
Your blog reminded me of the Luke Wilson movie Henry Poole is Here - excellent movie, only movie I've ever seen Luke play a 'serious' role in.
i read your blogs from time time...loved this one! so true...so little time, so much living to do.
we all should live each day like it could be our last one.
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